Júma, 29 Nauryz 2024
El ishi... 7407 14 pikir 27 Shilde, 2019 saghat 12:03

Býgin - Jeltoqsan kóterilisining qaharmany Lәzzat Asanovanyng tughan kýni

Lәzzat Asanova - (27.07.1970 - 25.12.1986).  Almaty oblysy, Panfilov audany, Aqjazyq auylynda dýniyege kelgen.1985 jyly Almatydaghy P.Chaykovskiy atyndaghy muzyka uchiliyshesine oqugha týsedi.1986 jyly qazaq jastarynyng otarshyldyq jәne әmirshildik jýiege qarsy azattyq kóterilisine belsene qatysqan. Ol nebәri 16 jasynda otarlyq jýiening qúrbany bolyp ketti... Osyghan oray, biz Lәzzatyng anasy Altynay Asanovanyng "Aqjazyqtyng aimanday aruy" atty kitabynan ýzindi jariyalap otyrmyz.

-Men anamyn. Bes bala tәrbiyelegen, ómirge әkelgen, solardyng qyzyq-shyjyghyn kórgen anamyn. Qazaq dalasyn qalyng úiqysynan oyatqan úly Jeltoqsan últ-azattyq kóterilisining qúrbany marqúm Lәzzat Asanova sekildi erjýrek, halqyn shynayy sýigen arudyng anasymyn. Kezinde qorlanyp, myna qas-qaghym ómirden on ekide bir gýli ashylmay, ókinish pen qasiretti artyna, myna men beybaqqa mәngilikke tastap ketken Lәzzattyng anasymyn. Mәngilik arman men ókinishti keudeme qúiyp, sodan arylmastay etip, qansha jyl ótse de, zaman ózgerip, dýnie janaryp, elimiz Tәuelsizdikke ie bolyp, egemen atanyp jatsa da qayghy-múny bir sәt ortaymaytyn anamyn. Kýrsinuim mol. Ah úruym sheksiz, múndy da zarly anamyn. Qayta jyl ótip, Lәzzatym menen alystaghan sayyn qayghym eselep, saghynyshym artyp, armanym múngha, kónilim qúmgha ainalghan anamyn. Kóz jasymdy kýnde búlaymyn. Qúrghyr, kóz jas degende shek bolmaydy eken. Netken kóp dýnie ekenin. Kýnde-kýnde, qara týn qúshaghynda jatyp ayamastan, qashan sharshap, qaljyrap bitkenshe tógemin. Jastyghymdy kóz jasym kýnde juady. Men perishtedey kýnimdi, tas emshegimdi jibitken túnghyshymdy kýnde izdeymin. Qara týnmen sóilesemin, kók aspanmen syrlasamyn, aimen múndasamyn. Adamdardan, tóniregimdegilerden kónilim qalyp, әbden suyp, zәrezap bolsam qayteyin...

Aynalayyn Lәzzatym, kózimning quanyshy, janymnyng rahaty, senen aiyrylyp qalamyn, artynda zarlap otyramyn dep oilappyn ba? Jaryghym-au!.. Sening ómirge keluin, ómirge qúshtarlyghyn, namysqoylyghyn, jaratylysyn, nәziktigin, sýikimdiliging bәri ózgeshe, bәri әdemi edi. Qayteyin, qay dinsiz, Qúdaydan bezgen adam emes hayuan, ýrim-bútaghy myna men sekildi anyrap ótkir, eshkimge jamandyq oilap, qarghap-silep kórmep em, qayteyin, kýiindirip, onsyzda janymdy jegidey jep jýrgen dertimdi qozdyryp, maza bermedi ghoy myna jetesiz beybaqtar etegine jarmasyp.

Sening sýiegindi alyp kelgen bir top adam: "Jylaugha bolmaydy! Bәrine qyzynnyng ózi kinәli. Ókimette, sayasatta nesi bar? Oquyn oqyp, tynysh qana jýrmey me? Dúrys bala tәrbiyeley almaghan, partiya men ýkimetke til tiygizgen,olardyng isine qarsylyq bildiretin úrpaq ósirgening ýshin jauap beresin! Sen múghalimsin. Kenes ýkimetining múghalimasy óz balasyn tәrbiyeley almady degen ne súmdyq?! Búl ýshin ýlken kinәlisin. Tezdetip kómu kerek. Halyq jinalmasyn! Eshkim jylamasyn! Auyzdarynnan shyqqan әr sózdering ýshin kýni býginnen bastap jauap beresinder!" dep, kók jaghalysy da, jay jaghalysy da zirk-zirk etip, ózi de óli men tiri arasynda otyrghan janymdy jaralap, auyzdaryna kelgenin aitpady ma?

Sonan sýiegindi arnayy mashinamen arnayy alyp kelgender audannan ba, oblystan ba, әlde Almatydan kelgenderi me, әiteuir bilmeymin, ózdi-ózi sybyrlasyp, kýbirlesip, jau quyp bara jatqanday apas-qapas jerledi.

... Tipti qyzymnyng qaraly kýnine beriletin songhy asyna eshkimdi keltirmedi. Jetisine, qyrqyna jayylghan dastarhanyma el-júrt kelmedi, bosaghamyzdan attap, Lәzzattyng qaraly dastarhanynda otyrugha KGB qyzmetkerlerinen qorqyp, qara kórsetpedi. "Múnshama jazyghyng ne edi, kýnim-au" dep men otyrdym anyrap. Sýiegindi әkelgen kýnnen bastap, audandyq IIB, Memlekettik Qauipsizdik Komiytetining qyzmetkerleri meni kýndelikti ermegine, zorlyq-zombylyghyn kórsetetin nysanasyna ainaldyrghan joq pa? Tergeuge, jauap alugha keshke shaqyryp, kenselerinde týn ortasyna deyin ústaydy. Súramaytyn pәleleri joq, aitpaytyn sózderi joq.

O dýniyelik qyzymnyng da, ózimning de ar-namysyma tiyedi. Mektepte múghalim edim. Lәzzat qaza tauyp sýiegin alyp kelgende kishkentayym bes aida edi. Sony jylatyp-eniretip ýige tastap ketemin. Ashyp-tasyghan, tabagha saluyn kýtip túrghan nan qalady. Men bes-alty saghattan keyin qaytip kelgende ainala tógilip, shashylyp, rәsua bolyp jatqany.

Kóresini Memlekettik qauipsizdik komiytetining qyzmetkerlerinen kórdim. Tórt-bes jyl boyy qyr sonymnan qalmady. Meni halyq jauynyng anasy etip shyghardy. Bizding ýige kim keledi, kim ketedi andyp, kórip-bilip otyrady.

Qúrysyn, halqym, ainalayyn, aq niyetti adamdar, analar, Alla Taghala mening basyma týsken qasiretti, qorlyqty tiri pendening peshenesine jazbasyn dep tileymin. Densaulyqtan týbegeyli aiyryldym. Ekinshi toptaghy mýgedekke ainaldym. Biraq, qyzymnyng aq-qarasyna jetkenshe, qashan aqtalghanynsha bir sәt tynym kórmedim. Aqyry, aqtaldy, mening kýnim!

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