Qorqamyn... Jana jyldyng jaqyndaghany jýregime ýrey úyalatady. Nege deysiz be? Mýmkin siz ýshin jana jyl ýlken meyram, ghajayypqa toly kez shyghar, biraq men ýshin olay emes. Óitkeni osy bir qarghys atqyr merekege dayyndyq bastala salysymen, adamdar top-tobymen kelip men sekildi shyrshalardy kese bastaydy. Keyinnen ýilerine әkelip, ýstimizge qytaydyng salpynshyqtaryn taghyp, shoshaq-shoshaqtaryn ilip berekemizdi qashyrady. Jarqyraghan týrli-týsti shamdary taghy bar.

Sol bәleketting kesirinen órtenip ketem be dep zәrem úshady. Balalar bolsa meni shyr ainalyp әn salyp, by biylep mәz. Tura bir sayqymazaq tauyp alghanday. Ol ol ma, qalanyng qaq ortasyna aparyp qoyatyndary da bar. Janynnan ótken әrbir jan suretke týsip tynym bermeydi. Shyrshamen týsken suretti Instagram, Facebook-ke salu qazir «moda». Oghan da kóndik.

Alayda men bir nәrseni týsinbeymin. Osy qazaqtar jeltoqsan bastalmay jatyp shyrshamen arpalysqansha, nelikten Tәuelsizdik kýnine dayyndyqqa sonday yjdaghattylyqpen kirispeydi? Jap-jasyl etip bizdi merziminen búryn qoyghansha, halqy ýshin ózderin qúrban etken jandardyng suretterin ilip, ruhyna qúrmet bilderse núr ýstine núr bolar edi. Nege osy turaly oilanbaydy eken... Ay, biraq, olardyng oilanugha da uaqyttary joq qoy. Oilanyp otyratyn bolsa, kim shyrshany bezendiredi? Kim dastarhangha tamaq alady?

Tamaq demekshi, bir ay búryn jana jylgha dep tonazytqyshty toltyryp qoyady, biraq jana jyl jetem degenshe tamaqtyng bәri bitip, keyin keri bazargha jýgiredi. Ýitip-býitip jana jyldy da qarsy alady.  Sodan song mening qajetim bolmay, bir qarasam qoqysta jatamyn. Jyl sayyn kóretinim osy. Sonda búny ómir deuge kele me?..

Quanysh Júbandyqov

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